Three Sixes and a Forked Tongue

or Cold Medicine and a Liar

A Novel by James Tyler Toothman


All around them, like a part of the darkness, were dozens upon dozens of naked and ecstatic girls and women—most of them she recognized.

Friends, you have no idea what I went through. I promise ya, the most used whore at the Wool Sock Saloon ain’t have a snatch that itched half as bad as my goddamn arm did that day.

Guess what, ya medieval clown lookin’ bastard, the Beatles were bigger than Jesus. It ain’t braggin’ if it’s true.

Matter of fact as that. Hell, there’s a whole heap of misconceptions what’s revealin’ would shatter the minds of most folks. The actual truth about God would send folks jumpin’ off the side of fuckin’ bridges . Yes indeed it would.

God created the earth but he never set foot on it.

But I’m gettin’ off track all to hell. I’ll tell ye all about the true nature of reality later.

I met the Devil twice in my life and I saw God once. Saw him raise the dead, if you can believe that. Spoke to him too. And the goddamned Devil, he done ran off with my best good buddy Priscilla, and I ain’t seen her, or him, since.

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Either listen or suffer. The choice is yours. But my advice is you stick around for the entirety of this here story ‘fore you make any hasty or… precarious decisions.